Relationships
A quality program fosters relationships by developing them intentionally and carefully. Relationships build a positive foundation for healthy social and emotional development. To create quality relationships, staff model cooperation and respect toward youth and other staff, use positive language that supports young people’s growth and potential, interact with youth on a one-on-one basis, and organize activities that promote positive communication. The program also builds relationships with external stakeholders that promote positive communication and collaboration.
Indicators & Performance Levels
(Click on the indicator to expand the performance level examples, or download the full set of indicators and performance levels here.)
A quality program:
QSA Guide- Third Edition
Performance Levels
Rate your program in each of the indicators using the following system:
1 Must Address and Improve / Standards Not Met
2 Some Progress Made / Approaching Standard
3 Satisfactory / Meets Standards
4 Excellent / Exceeds Standards
Organizations are expected to strive for a satisfactory performance level (3) on all of the quality indicators.
Over time, programs should continue to strive for an excellent performance level (4).
1. * Has staff that respect and communicate with one another and are role models of positive adult relationships.
Performance Level 1
Staff members are disrespectful and/or hostile toward one another. Participants witness disrespectful behavior among staff members. Staff members work in isolation, not as a team. The site director does not facilitate relationship-building among staff members. Participants are not taught to develop and maintain positive relationships, nor are these skills modeled by staff members.
Performance Level 2
Staff members seem to be indifferent to one another. The staff rarely works as a team, and staff members do not take initiative to work together to best serve participants. The site director mediates for staff members when approached regarding a disagreement, but does not take other steps to facilitate relationship-building among staff members. Participants are not taught and seldom see modeling of relationship-building skills by staff.
Performance Level 3
Staff members generally seem to work collaboratively and are respectful of one another. The staff works as a team in order to best serve participants. The site director mediates for staff members when approached regarding a disagreement, and follows-up with staff members to ensure the conflict does not affect their work. The site director facilitates relationship-building among staff members by organizing professional development on relationship-building and providing non-work related functions, such as a staff picnic, for staff to bond and develop as a team.
Performance Level 4
Staff members work collaboratively, positively work through conflicts, and are respectful of one another. Staff members work as a team and develop strategies for utilizing each others’ skills to best serve participants. The site director provides conflict resolution, negotiation, and professional development for the staff with direct examples of how to implement techniques. When staff members need additional assistance, and cannot resolve conflicts on their own, the site director immediately mediates for them. The site director follows-up with staff members several times to ensure the conflict does not affect their work and that they feel that it is resolved. The site director also convenes a staff committee to plan relationship-building and team-building opportunities for staff members, including occasional events, a mentoring program for new staff members, and monthly staff meetings.
2. * Interacts with families in a comfortable, culturally sensitive, and welcoming way.
Performance Level 1
There is little interaction between families and staff members. Staff members do not welcome families at the program site; they are told to come to the site only when it is time to pick up their child. Family members’ concerns are often dismissed. Family members who are not native-English speakers are not given an opportunity to talk to staff members in their own language.
Performance Level 2
There is some interaction between families and staff members. Staff members welcome families who come to the program site, but they do not specifically invite them to visit other than when it is time to pick up their child. Family members may voice concerns, but action is seldom taken. Family members who are not native-English speakers are only given an opportunity to talk to staff members in their own language when there happens to be a staff member who understands their language or when there is a problem with their child.
Performance Level 3
There is frequent interaction between families and staff members. Staff members welcome families, and specifically ask them to come to the program site once a year to learn more about the program and to see their child engaged in activities. Family members’ concerns are taken into consideration whenever possible. The site director hires staff members who are bilingual whenever possible, so that family members who are not native-English speakers can talk to staff members and so they can develop program materials in multiple languages. Staff have some knowledge and awareness of other cultures and are accepting of differences.
Performance Level 4
There is frequent, regular interaction between families and staff members. Families are regularly made aware that they are always welcome at the program site to see their child engaged in activities and to participate in family activities and programs. Family members’ suggestions, ideas, and concerns are welcomed, requested, documented, and implemented whenever it is possible. The site director hires staff members who are bilingual whenever possible so family members who are not native-English speakers can talk to staff members in their own language. If a family member speaks a language not spoken by any staff member, the site director locates a translator to facilitate dialogue. Staff have knowledge and awareness of and are accepting of other cultures.
3. * Treats participants with respect, listens to what they say, and has structures in place to encourage participant/adult relationships.
Performance Level 1
Staff members are often disrespectful to participants and have been observed yelling at participants to get their attention. Staff members frequently interrupt participants who are speaking. Staff members choose to use negative language and negative discipline strategies rather than teaching, supporting, and praising positive behaviors. Staff members do not call participants by name. Participants’ ideas are not taken seriously or are dismissed. The program culture and activities are adult-centered.
Performance Level 2
Staff members are not disrespectful, but often multi-task while working with participants and do not often make eye contact or individual connections with participants. Staff members seldom call participants by name. There are few opportunities for participants to communicate with staff members and peers about the program, daily experiences, and concerns. The program culture and activities are adult-centered.
Performance Level 3
A daily check-in is incorporated into the program routine as a tool to connect participants with staff members and provide opportunities for staff to get to know all participants. Staff members often call participants by name. Program structures support participants in contributing to program offerings and to the program’s discipline policies or code of conduct. Participants are valued, trained, supported, and regularly recognized as leaders within the program. A majority of staff members practice a variety of positive discipline techniques and use community-building strategies. Staff members try to make time to connect with participants on an individual basis. The program culture and activities are youth-centered.
Performance Level 4
Staff members are aware of the strengths and needs of individual participants; a daily check-in is incorporated into the program routine. Positive supports and discipline strategies are used throughout the program. Participants contribute to program offerings and to the program’s discipline policies or code of conduct through formal structures, such as advisory boards or youth boards. Most activities are designed with participant input, and participant feedback is sought and integrated into the program. The program culture is safe and confidential, which encourages participants to speak freely. Participants are valued, trained, supported, and regularly recognized as leaders within the program. The language and behavior of staff members shows sensitivity to race, ethnicity, sex, gender identification, sexual orientation, and the physical and intellectual ability of all participants. Staff members have adequate professional development to teach, model, and support cooperation and respect among participants. Many participants and staff intentionally develop strong relationships, and they are documented in program records and included in the program’s evaluation. Staff members recognize this as a core part of their work. All participants have at least one strong relationship with a staff member.
4. Encourages and supports participants to interact with one another in positive ways and builds a sense of community among participants.
Performance Level 1
Participants do not know one another and are disrespectful; this is evidenced by bullying and teasing. Staff members primarily focus on the program and do not address the social and emotional development of participants. Staff members do not intervene in bullying and teasing or treat it as an opportunity for conflict resolution. Participants are sometimes reprimanded for disrespectful behavior, but only when staff members have time to address the issue. No opportunities exist for participants to become peer leaders and interact positively with other participants. The program does not consider community-building as a program objective, and therefore does not focus any resources or time on it.
Performance Level 2
Some participants know each other and there is no program-wide sense of community. Participants are sometimes disrespectful to one another, and there are some signs of bullying and teasing. Staff members seldom intervene in bullying and teasing situations and have no formal training in effective interventions. Staff members focus primarily on running activities and only address the social and emotional development of participants if they have time. Staff members have no formal training in social and emotional learning or how to teach conflict resolution skills to participants. Participants are usually reprimanded for disrespectful behavior. Participants are not valued as role models for positive interaction. The program is interested in building a community among participants, but does not intentionally focus resources or time on it.
Performance Level 3
Positive program expectations are developed by participants and staff members at the beginning of each year and taught, modeled, reinforced, and supported throughout the year. Participants are generally respectful to one another. Staff members receive professional development in social and emotional learning and focus both on running activities and on social and emotional development. Bullying and teasing are addressed immediately and tracked to ensure that they have stopped. Positive relationships are built and fostered through a variety of strategies including team-building exercises. There is a sense of community and participants know almost everyone. Participants are always taught, prompted, and encouraged to display respectful behavior, and are reminded, redirected, and/or reprimanded for disrespectful behavior. The program considers building a community among participants to be a program objective, and staff members are expected to focus resources and time working toward this goal.
Performance Level 4
Participants know all of their peers, and building a community among participants is a main program objective. Positive program expectations are developed by participants, families, and staff members at the beginning of each year, and they are taught, modeled, reinforced, supported, and assessed throughout the year. Participants are respectful of one another and acknowledged regularly for respectful behavior. Staff members receive professional development in social and emotional learning, with an emphasis on effective bullying prevention education and interventions. They apply their knowledge when running activities, social and emotional development, and community building. Participants are taught empathy, respect, and what bullying and teasing are and that they are not tolerated at the program. Bullying and teasing are addressed, immediately investigated, dealt with, and tracked to ensure that they have stopped. Positive relationships are built and fostered through a variety of strategies, including team-building exercises. Participants are always taught, prompted, encouraged, and recognized for respectful behavior, and are reminded, redirected, and/or reprimanded for disrespectful behavior. Collaborative projects and service learning opportunities are an integral part of programming.
5. * Is sensitive to and embraces the diversity of the cultures and languages of participants.
Performance Level 1
Staff members are unaware of participants’ cultures. They only speak English and do not communicate with participants who are English language learners. Staff members question cultural norms that participants follow, such as wearing a covering, eating certain food, or other behaviors, and participants often have to defend these behaviors.
Performance Level 2
Staff members are sometimes aware of participants’ cultures. Most staff members only speak English and do not regularly communicate with participants who are English language learners, but they try to find someone who can assist with translation when possible. Staff members generally disregard cultural norms that participants follow, such as wearing a covering, eating certain food, or other behaviors, and often have to be reminded of them.
Performance Level 3
Staff members are aware of and respect participants’ cultures. Several staff members are bilingual and work with participants who are English language learners to ensure that they are engaged in the program. Staff members generally understand cultural norms that participants follow, such as wearing a covering, eating certain food, or other behaviors, and are accepting of them.
Performance Level 4
Staff members are aware of participants’ cultures, and are mandated to attend trainings on cultural sensitivity. The site director seeks out bilingual staff members, ensuring that the staff would be able to speak all of the most common languages spoken in the community. Staff members work with participants who are English language learners to ensure that they are engaged in the program. Staff members generally understand cultural norms that participants follow, and ask questions to learn more to ensure that they are respectful of the participants, families, and cultures. The program is designed in collaboration with the community and with a goal to celebrate the cultures in the community. The program exposes participants to a variety of cultures in positive ways, so every participant feels welcome and accepted, and accepts and appreciates other cultures.
6. Schedules meetings with major stakeholders, including staff, participants, families, and others as appropriate.
Performance Level 1
Staff members do not regularly meet with other stakeholders. Information is shared with stakeholders via e-mail or phone calls only, infrequently or only when necessary. When meetings are held with stakeholders, they generally focus on troubleshooting or addressing rising challenges.
Performance Level 2
Staff members have a few meetings with the program’s major stakeholders, including the Board of Directors, local principals, funders, families, participants, and others, but they are often called last minute rather than scheduled in advance. Meetings are scheduled only when necessary. These meetings generally focus on troubleshooting or addressing rising challenges.
Performance Level 3
Staff members have scheduled meetings with the program’s major stakeholders, including the Board of Directors, local principals, funders, families, participants, and others. Meetings are scheduled in advance and occur on a regular basis. These meetings give staff members the opportunity to discuss program updates, ask for input and suggestions, troubleshoot, address rising challenges, and celebrate successes.
Performance Level 4
The program has scheduled meetings, such as Advisory Board meetings, with its major stakeholders, including the Board of Directors, local principals, funders, families, participants, and others. Meetings are scheduled in advance and occur on a regular basis. Stakeholders are invited to contribute to meeting agendas to include their information, ideas, suggestions, concerns, and feedback on the program. Meetings give staff members and stakeholders the opportunity to discuss program updates, complete quality self-assessments, plan and revise programming and program direction, identify strengths, troubleshoot, address rising challenges, plan for sustainability, assess progress towards goals, and celebrate successes.
7. Encourages and supports former participants to become mentors, volunteers, or staff.
Performance Level 1
The program does not maintain contact with former participants when they stop attending or become too old to attend the program. Former participants rarely contribute to the program.
Performance Level 2
The program maintains contact with some former participants who stay in touch with individual staff members. Depending on the staff member they remain in touch with, they are sometimes asked to contribute to the program in whatever way they can. These contributions are usually made through occasional visits to the program.
Performance Level 3
The program tries to maintain contact with former participants by keeping their contact information in a database and contacting them once or twice a year. Former participants are asked to update their information if it changes. The program sends news and updates to former participants including job openings in the program. Former participants are invited to contribute to the program by working directly with participants as a mentor or volunteer, or by participating in fundraisers and events.
Performance Level 4
The program maintains regular contact with former participants by keeping their contact information up-to-date in a database. Former participants are asked to update their information if it changes, and they are contacted annually as a reminder. The program sends news and updates to former participants on a regular basis. Former participants are invited to contribute to the program by volunteering a set number of hours to work with participants, serve as a mentor, attend or speak at events, or participate in fundraisers. Requests are sent to adult former participants who may have special skills, such as grant writing, event management, or marketing. Former participants are intentionally recruited for job openings because of their direct experience with the program.
8. * Is sensitive to and embraces the diversity of gender expression/ identity and sexual orientation.
Performance Level 1
Participants are bullied by other participants and/or by staff around issues of gender expression/identity and sexual orientation. Staff members do not address bullying that occurs.
Performance Level 2
Participants are sometimes bullied around issues of gender expression/identity and sexual orientation, but staff intervene and participants feel able to come to staff for help.
Performance Level 3
Participants are not actively bullied around issues of gender expression/identity and sexual orientation, and they feel comfortable coming to staff with issues. There is no active work on the part of staff to encourage acceptance of all.
Performance Level 4
Participants feel comfortable to express their gender expression/identity and sexual orientation without fear of social repercussions. Staff actively teach acceptance of people who are different.
Research, Tools and Templates, and Resources
- Caring Adults Support the Development of Healthy Youth, Center for 4-H Youth Development at the University of Minnesota
Research on the importance of adult relationships in youth development.
- Measuring the Quality of Youth-Mentor Relationships, Public/Private Ventures
Tools and surveys to measure the quality of youth-mentor relationships for mentoring programs. - Search Institute Website
Guides and kits for training staff on developing positive relationships with youth. - No Place For Hate
This is a vetted curriculum offering high quality, appropriate, and engaging anti bullying information. - Take a Stand, Coalition for Children
Anti bullying curriculum.
- 10 Tips for Affirming Diversity and Supporting Equity in New After School Programs, California Tomorrow
Tip sheet on diversity in afterschool programs. - “Preventing Bullying and Cyber-Bullying”, Jodee Blanco, Luke Reynolds, Lola Stvil, Take a minute to review this detailed list of tips on how to prevent bullying and cyber-bullying from ToBecomeATeacher.org
- Strategies for Increasing Peer Social Interactions: Prompting and Acknowledgement, Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, Vanderbilt University
Article on key strategies for fostering positive relationships among youth. - Stop Bullying, US Government Department of Health and Human Services, Department of Education, and Department of Justice
Learn how to prevent bullying, recognize bullying, and respond appropriately. - Teaching Tips: Team Building Activities for Elementary Students, University of Missouri eThemes
A list of websites with many different team building games for Elementary students. - Team Building Activities Focusing on Communication, Sherrie Scott
Create a staff that models appropriate behaviors with these fun communication exercises.
The following stakeholder groups may be appropriate to involve in surveys and focus group discussions around this element:
- Program Administrators
- Program Staff
- Program Participants
- Parents
- School Teachers
- School Guidance Counselors
- School Principals
- Staff of Partner Programs
- Other
Taking Action, Suggested Stakeholders, Try This!, and Tips for Success
RIGHT NOW: ADDRESSED WITHIN THE FIRST 30-60 DAYS OF ASSESSMENT.
Leadership holds staff training on building positive relationships with youth. Director follows-up with staff to discuss lessons from the training and share additional resources.
THIS YEAR: ADDRESSED BY THE END OF THE PROGRAM YEAR.
Staff meetings deliberately include discussions about mutual respect and positive communication. Staff implement a daily “check-in” as a way of connecting with young people. Large groups are broken into smaller groups to allow youth to receive more individual attention.
NEXT YEAR: ADDRESSED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW PROGRAM YEAR.
Program activities are designed to provide multiple opportunities for building positive relationships. Staff are asked to take initiative and create opportunities for one-on-one dialogue with young people. Staff are formally acknowledged for maintaining respectful relationships with youth.
Make a Personal Connection
Reflect on your interactions with the young people you work with. Is there a young person that you are having a difficult time connecting with? Challenge yourself to make a personal connection by creating a plan to develop your relationship. Questions to consider:
- What actions can I begin to take?
- What actions can I try to stop?
- What is already working that I want to keep?
- What will be a sign that demonstrates this relationship is developing?
Here a few tips for promoting healthy partnerships with young people:
- Ensure mutual respect exists. In a quality program, both adults and youth have opportunities to communicate their expertise and knowledge.
- Share the power. Create rotating schedules of roles; for example, alternate adults and youth as meeting leaders and note-takers.
- Everyone should contribute. Afterschool programs are a joint endeavor. Youth are not silent partners when working with adults.